state i'm in: damp.
tune: jamiroquai "soul education".
phascolarctos cinereus sexfiendeus:a koala has been sent on a mission... edinburgh zoo resident chumbee has been living it up in vienna of late as the male koala in the shoenbrunn zoo, bilyarra, seems a little frigid. romantic music, aphrodisiac food and even koala porn have thus far failed to get him in the mood. enter chumbee, and his hyperactive libido.
"chumbee hasn't stopped since he got here," said shoenbrunn zoo manager helmut pechlaner. it seems chumbee has managed to spice things up somewhat and now it is a free for all orgy in the koala enclosure. bilyarra is even getting in on the act. "it has been almost non-stop sex in the koala enclosure ever since," continued the proud zoo manager.
chumbee's global travel aspirations have been bolstered subsequently, with other zoos expressing interest in having him drop by to heat up their koala colonies.
extreme ageism?
in canberra, a man, for some strange reason, became motivated to visit his local shopping centre and charge down a few older shoppers. he allegedly slammed into a man in his 60s, before shoulder-charging a 71 year old woman and knocking her to the ground.
unfortunately the woman had a heart attack moments after getting back up and died later in hospital.
the man has been charged and will have his mental health assessed.
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image: public
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