this time there really are WMDs

mood: comfortably and happily relaxed.
state i'm in: excited about starting elective tomorrow.
tune: kinny & horne "sacred life".

what to do with mr kim jong il and his rogue state.

i believe that the time is nigh for suggestions of a military campaign on the korean peninsula. north korea needs to be deterred from its present course, or ought to be punished with invasion, a massive political dilemna no doubt, and subsequent reunification with the south, a massive logistical dilemna no doubt.

as currently stands, the state has weapons of mass destruction. mr kim first announced his intentions to the world, then followed through with an explosion. the man detonated a nuclear bomb, a weapon of mass destruction, suspicion of possessing the likes of which other nations have been invaded for (or so the story goes). mr kim has made the threat to lash out with a "merciless strike" against american allies japan and south korea, and speaks of new sanctions against his state as a "declaration of war". rhetoric no doubt, but when the man is nearing possession of the means, one has to wonder what course of action ought be taken next.

china has always appeared to be an obstacle to resolution on the peninsula, but i don't think they will stand forever in defence of north korea. it looks as if wounds between japan and china might just be beginning to mend, under the stewardship of newly party-elected japanese prime minister shinzo abe. it is of immense value economically to china that these wounds do continue to heal.

sanctions are unlikely to do anything to resolve the issue. the morality of punishing poor people who live in a boycotted autocracy is dubious to say the least. it will do nothing to help the people, and is only likely to strengthen the popularity and power of the regime.

so where does the international community go? do we continue to impose sanctions? the ones imposed thus far are feeble, and the suggestions of condoleeza rice to russia, china, japan, and south korea on recent visits, even if acted upon, aren't a great deal stronger. or should we just wait until seoul or sapporro goes up in radioactive smoke before acting? probably not awfully likely in the near future, but it is a scenario that might be somewhat more likely in coming years, and needs to be averted with action now.

if this is not a suitable course of action to take, i would appreciate hearing suggestions otherwise. i am not a warmonger, in fact i am almost a pacifist, but options for the people of north korea, and potentially their international neighbours, are getting thin on the ground.

summing up

mood: very relaxed.
sate i'm in: can't believe i can do so little.
tune: karen ramirez "people make the world go round" (not bad, but it's not the sylistics).


so what can i say about the last few days. how about a quick summary...

MSAT on saturday was pretty good i think. not much examination, mostly communication, a.k.a. warm fluffy psychy stuff, a.k.a. nicola's heartland. can't really complain.

tuesday's exam on the other hand, i will complain about. public health everywhere... what the fuck?!!! talk about rubbish. ok, i know public health is important, suffien could remind me if needed, but to have the biggest question be on some kind of bullshit safety in the workplace (not even a hospital/health-related workplace) was just a load of bollocks really.

wednesday's exam was a lot better. respiratory was great, renal was even better! and male reproductive anatomy, as if i needed to be tested on that! and abortion... i never thought i would say the words "thank god for abortion" - how wrong that must have sounded to a passer by. nice to end it with a decent exam, where i could confidently answer the majority or questions. spent too long on the essay component, but still worked out ok for time. just in time to beat the rush to the pub.

ok, exam done at midday. by 5pm i had a GCS score of 6 i think. that's a coma scale to the non-mediwankers... sort of means i could have been mistaken for someone with some pretty serous brain damage, or worse. but it was a fun afternoon. didn't make it to the function that night, didn't really intend on doing so.

last night was another social night... nicole's 21st, photos below (with a file photo of nicole, featuring david, from his 21st). nicole said some touching words in her speech that i could identify strongly with. she was speaking of the friends we have all found in each other in med. such an intelligent, witty, and personable bunch of brilliant people. it is the cohort that really makes the course enjoyable.

david, myself, jack, tian, and adalbert... don't mess with adalbert.

me and suffien.

nicole and david from david's 21st.

other then getting a new job for the holiday break (and maybe longer) at sunglass hut, today was just a dodgy subway sandwich for lunch.

elective starting monday - 2 weeks neurology, 2 weeks cardiology.

more substantial stories in the pipeline. peace out.

can i get a raincheck on my habeas corpus?

mood: rushing on adrenalin.
state i'm in: thank fuck MSAT is over. frayed at the edges right now.
tune: naked music nyc "it's love" joshua's mo' love vocal mix.


definitions:

habeus corpus - the name of a legal instrument or writ by means of which detainees can seek release from unlawful imprisonment.

raincheck - seller's commitment to sell an out-of-stock item at the advertised price as soon as it becomes available.



thank you scott. please watch this video. an extremely well put together synopsis of one of modern history's darkest hours. it might be in regard to an american government, but please, how far removed are we in this era from being merely a footnote to US foreign policy.

commentator keith olbermann is a science graduate, basaball fanatic sports commentator, with a lot of backbone (literally, the man has 6 lumbar vertebrae lol), and is a formidable news anchor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqxmPjB0WSs&eurl=

please do not elect a government that will nonsensically sheep along with whatever master says, regardless of the compromises made on its subjects' liberty, autonomy, freedom. howard out, please. it's the least we can do for ourselves.

could have been

mood: even more f'ed.
state i'm in: well done.
tune: deborah conway "it's only the beginning".


for the first time in as long as i can remember, maybe first time ever, i am not feeling so grateful about the personal experiences of my life for the 8 years before this one. always thought the old adage "you learn from your experiences, from your mistakes" applied well to my early adult years.

now thoughts pointing to the value of "learning" from early mistakes are beginning to elude me. could i not have just gotten it right first time around - mistakes everted. if only i really knew what i wanted, and what it meant - when ideas of what i wanted were less precise than what they could (should?) have been. it could have been as simple as it seems now, i honestly believe that. it seems so simple now. so pure and right and easy.

it's not a polarisation of thoughts, just a case of embracing something simple, yet as fulfilling as anything complex.

rambling, am i? maybe.

could be the meagre three hours sleep i managed to clock up last night, mixed with an unhealthy dose of oncology and musculoskeletal examinations. who the fuck texts you at 6am! kiddo deluxe does, that's who - thanks so much, em. and with walls as thin as water crackers (while my big wooden bed creaks like an old barn door in a storm, but that's not for here) finding sleep after about 7am is a lost cause. fuck i'm fried.

hmmm, i'm becoming one of those bloggers lately, aren't i - but really, other than the indefinite closure of brisbane's major expressway, what else exciting is happening right now? is my world too small right now?

mmmm, penfold's bluestone tawny... my special study buddy.

brain = friable

mood: f'ed.
state i'm in: oh, how the peanut slab glistens under the desklamp.
tune: gabrielle "sunshine".

well, i'm officially fried. just feel cruddy today. went up to the library to get a book, bumped into a big embrace from my good friend angel and another old friend kate, both from the old science days. my face just felt weird to be talking - my muscles of facial expression have become superfluous in these last few days. my brain felt even worse. i had to think about more than one thing, in more than one direction. the conversation was ruling the tangent of my thoughts, and i wasn't coping well. what a bloody effort!

got the book, came home, back to the sanctuary of my room and ibook, where no one but me can alter the direction of my thoughts. and i will keep directing them in the direction of my studies, coursing through the body system by system. if i need company, i've always got the forresters and co. at 4:30 each afternoon.


physically not too good either. feeling sluggish. muscles are wasted. stomach is looking swollen, can't possibly be fat. my normal intake of food is not compatible with the level of (in)activity i am slothing in. no fatty stuff today. or tomorrow. or the next day. held a little whittaker's peanut slab in my hand a few times today, but have now put it on my desk, with a red delicious apple sitting, as if a guardian, between me and it. must... be... strong... if i am going to eat, it will be because i am hungry. if i am hungry, i will eat the apple. hmmm, sound a bit like my mother...



ok, i know, this is one of those wanky, all-about-me, like-you'd-give-a-fuck, blog entries. going now.

distributive justice anybody?

mood: tiring a bit now.
state i'm in: getting close to reproduction.
tune: brand new heavies "get used to it" album. amazing stuff guys!

wow, been a while i know. sorry, exam study in full swing. high as a kite on green tea, funky soul on the speakers, and an oceanic breadth of knowledge to be swallowed.


just a quick one, to get brains ticking...

why should the "socially infertile" be excluded from access to assisted reproductive technology? by socially infertile, i am referring to single mothers, and lesbian couples. it seems sensible that mr and mrs jones be given first preference over miss jones or ms and ms jones right? but why? is there a genuine reason? or is it time we jettisoned some more patriarchal baggage?

you're wrong, wrong, so damn wrong!!!

mood: very very content.
state i'm in: resilient.
tune: incognito "this thing called love".


i picked up the courier mail on sunday. no, i didn't buy it, i say "picked up" literally, it was on the floor. that's probably the best place for it, other than out of print. front page story was "FAILED! The schoolgirl who refused to write about living with gays". naturally it was typical redneck fodder, the likes of which the courier mail seems to excel at churning out.

a year nine student was failed for refusing to complete an assignment designed, in the words of an education queensland spokesperson, "to encourage students to think about diversity, culture, and belief systems". to my knowldege, there are many topics schools can choose from, using scenarios based on living as one of various minorities, based on ethnicity, sexuality, religion, etc. the school at large chose one pertaining to living as a heterosexual in a homosexual society.

heres what some of the people cited in the front page article had to say:


year 9 student at the centre of the story:

"i didn't want to do the assignment because i don't believe in homosexuality."


the student's mother:

"she was being challenged, but she should not be challenged like that at her age."


federal education minister julie bishop, who is intent on wresting control of curriculum content from the states:

"this is another example of a politically-correct agenda masquerading as curriculum. ...parents need to be confident their children are receiving a high quality education that is also consistent with their values."


state opposition leader jeff seeney:

"(the) system tries to tell kids what to think instead of teaching them how to think. it is not the job of our schools to politicise our children. it is their function to provide our kids with the basics, like reading, writing, and maths."


christian lobby state director peter earle:

"the assignment was not about education, rather a teacher or school pushing their agenda on young minds. the subject matter was totally inapropriate."


my familiarity with the EQ program, whilst certainly not complete, is that this is an assignment with an interest in promoting tolerance, acceptance, the virtues of diversty, and egalitarianism - a.k.a. promoting basic human rights. not, as those quoted above would have you believe, the pushing of "a politically correct agenda".

little miss year 9 doesn't believe in homosexuality. what exactly does that mean? either a parentally indoctrinated bigot in the making, or a young lass in denial of homosexuality's very existence. her mother cries "she shouldn't be challenged like that at her age". news flash sweetheart - there are likely homosexual children in your daughter's class; perhaps she is even one, denial is a hallmark after all! the pollies and lobbyists claim this is the pushing of an "agenda" onto young minds. their claim is that this is unfit to be spoken about. get fucked!

perhaps had they have completed the assignment themselves, and taken the time to appreciate what it is like to be (not even considering growing up as an adolescent who is) gay, or ethnic, or disabled, they might realise the merit such a project has. take the blinkers off people!


----------


from here, i suppose i will get a little emotional. all of this just reinforces a feeling that constanly burns low at the back of my mind. i am not unstable, nor am i depressed, nor do i feel even slightly lousy about who i am. but i get annoyed.

there is always many people there to tell me i am "wrong". how i live is "wrong". my beliefs are "wrong". by views on morals are warped, "wrong". my ability to raise a child is inept, "wrong". my capacity to fulfill many responsible positions in society is inadequate, "wrong". the thoughts in my head are "wrong". the places i sometimes go to socialise are "wrong". i will be judged harshly in the afterlife because the way i behave is "wrong". how and who i love is deranged, "wrong".

but i am not "wrong".

it is others who disprespect one's autonomy. it is others who display maleficence, and fail to show beneficence towards others. it is others who deprive who they can of justice. (thanks to my medical education for the big words.) i wish they wouldn't, for it hurts those people. that is not in anyone's best interest.

i strive to do the right thing by my family, by my friends, by my society (howsoever undeserving it may seem sometimes!). i work hard at my studies, i care about those close to me, and would go to lengths to ensure their happiness and safety. i uphold strong principles about how one ought to treat others, and their environment - tread lightly people. i maintain the dream that if each of us was to put into our society more than what we take, as much more as we can muster, our society would be immensely enriched. how powerful would we be together.

but still they claim i am "wrong". they are not the only voices out there, perhaps not even the majority, but they are nonetheless loud. "wrong" they say, over and over. a weaker person might fail under their relentless pressure. but i won't.

for i am "right"!!

rosy cheeks

mood: happy.
state i'm in: little vegemite.
tune: gabrielle "don't need the sun (to make me smile)".


stopped by chai's convenience store on the way home - needed a loaf of bread. after much internal discourse, i opted for a loaf of fluffy white bread. it's been many months of wholegrain and i just felt it was time. one beautiful and soft vegemite sandwich coming up for lunch. one of those little pleasures.

walked under the melaleucas in bloom on the way up my street, smelling so sweet like honey, breeze blowing brown leaves down from the canopy above, and with the prospect of someone making a nice home cooked meal for me tonight, today is looking pretty damn fine.

candle up to the sun

mood: contently flat.
state i'm in: the emotional rollercoaster is really kicking into higher gears.
tune: josh pyke "feeding the wolves" ep.


le chatelier's principle states:

"if a change is imposed on a system at equilibrium, the position of the equilibrium will shift in a direction that tends to reduce that change."


now whilst henri le chatelier was describing effects on enzyme kinetics when he coined this principle (one of the guiding principles of chemistry), just broaden your mind to imagine how much of life it in actuality applies to...


----------


this is going to be one of those posts, where i skip around a bit from one topic to the next...


singer-songwriter josh pyke is brilliant. i would have liked to have shared this a long time ago, but my overall mood veered away into more stable and happier times before i could, and it just felt inappropriate to be dedicating posts to largely sombre and/or reflective music when the songs i were playing were farthest from.

the following lyrics from his track "staring down the sun" off the "feeding the wolves" ep just ring in my ear so loudly when he sings them. that feeling, unspecific as it is, is always so warm in my memory - when he sings this verse it comes back to the surface like bubbles in a slow-boiling pool of mud.


"not too sentimental, but i want you to know,
that i drove past your street tonight on my way back from a show.
i was less than one hundred footsteps away from you i suppose,
and i could feel your sweet eyes, watching headlights roll by,
maybe you noticed one, swept by a little too slow,
and on down that road.
on down that road."


perhaps for me the most poignant, but really just one of many such moments from his ep. how many times i have done it i cannot recall. in my mind, i have done it many more times. one can never quite let go of an experience when is is the experience itself that grips you tight.


----------


and to change topic again, the announcement of a tragic event in the world of bold and the beautiful. darla einstein-forrester died this afternoon on the show due to complications from massive head injuries sustained when she was hit by a car. this sucks i think, 'cos darla was one of my favourite supporting characters, and it also signals the further fading of memories of the once stong spectre empire. only clark garrison jr. and sally spectre herself are now left from the clan.

but, should have seen it coming, she was happy, and we can't have that on b 'n' b.

----------

stay tuned for a bit of howard-bashing in the next couple of days. the little turd has pissed me off... again.

Keg IV

mood: pretty happy all things considered.
state i'm in: head down bum up.
tune: the bucketheads "the bomb" armand van helden re-edit.

friday night's keg IV went well. a great success, enjoyed by the partygoers, and judged very well organised by the UQMS executive. this makes me happy, because i was one of the organisers.

so all it takes for a successful party is a decent sized space, 300 sausages and bread, 6kg of onions (and swimming goggles for cutting), a karaoke machine and sound set up, and some generous volunteers - oh, and 600L of beer and 70L of wine, how could i forget.

thought i would throw down a few images from the night...

predictably, sol with a couple of blondes

cheng, random guy, and nat

suffien on wine duty

the winkmeister on beer

jack, junior, and tresillian (the man resposible for the subject of the final photo)

random girl, leonie, and nick

michael tresillian's master work - drip tray for the bbq, and property of the herston med school cafeteria (not sure if they liked what we did with it?)

this conflagration consumes

mood: a little ragged.
state i'm in: still recovering from keg IV.
tune: 2pac "pain".


our inward power, when it obeys nature, reacts to events by accommodating itself to what it faces - to what is possible. it needs no specific material. it pursues its own aims as circumstances allow; it turns obstacles into fuel. as a fire overwhelms what would have quenched a lamp. what's thrown on top of the conflagration is absorbed, consumed by it - and makes it burn still higher.

marcus aurelius "meditations" book 4; 1.

just learn this...

mood: lightly sauteed.
state i'm in: working well, late night after all.
tune: pete rock & c.l. smooth "appreciate".




"just learn this little diagram for 1 mark out of 600,000. it's as simple as that..."




why does it feel this way?