set adrift on memory bliss of you

FROM 28.11.06

mood: happily sombre.
state i'm in: mellowing right out.
tune: pm dawn "set adrift on memory bliss".


this song, pm dawn's "set adrift on memory bliss", always gets me a little reflective and emotional. specifically, the song's about letting go of past attachments, allowing them to take their place in the recesses of one's memory. lyrically and musically rather avant garde for an early 90's hip hop artist.


set adrift on memory bliss of you...
baby you send me, baby you send me,
set adrift on memory bliss of you...
baby you send me, baby you send me,
set adrift on memory bliss of you...

the camera pans the cocktail glass,
behind a blind of plastic plants;
i found the lady with the fat diamond ring.
then you know i can't remember a damn thing.
i think it's one of those de ja vu things,
or a dream that's tryin' to tell me something.
or will i ever stop thinkin' about it.
i don't know, i doubt it.
subterranean by design,
i wonder what i would find if i met you,
let my eyes caress you,
until i meet the thought of missess princess who?
often wonder what makes her work.
i guess i'll leave that question to the experts,
assuming that there are some out there.
they're probably alone, solitaire.
i can remember when i caught up
with a pastime intimate friend.
she said, "bet you're probably gonna say i look lovely,
but you probably don't think nothin' of me."
she was right, though, i can't lie.
she's just one of those corners in my mind,
and i just put her right back with the rest.
that's the way it goes, i guess.

baby you send me, baby you send me,
set adrift on memory bliss of you...
baby you send me, baby you send me,
set adrift on memory bliss of you...

careless whisper from a careless man,
a neutron dance for a neutron fan;
marionette strings are dangerous things,
i thought of all the trouble they bring.
an eye for an eye, a spy for a spy,
rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh.
tell me that she's not dreaming.
she's got an ace in the hole,
it doesn't have meaning.
reality used to be a friend of mine,
'cause complete control, i don't take too kind.
christina applegate, you gotta put me on.
guess who's piece of the cake is jack gone?
she broke her wishbone and wished for a sign.
i told her whispers in my heart were fine.
what did she think she could do?
i feel for her, i really do.
and i stared at the ring finger on her hand,
i wanted her to be a big pm dawn fan,
but i had to put her right back with the rest.
that's the way it goes, i guess.

baby you send me, baby you send me,
set adrift on memory bliss of you...

baby you send me, baby you send me, baby you send me, baby you send me,
set adrift on memory bliss of you...

stess weed

FROM 28.11.06

mood: mellow.
state i'm in: melloooooow.
tune: q-tip "even if it is so".


urbandictionary.com defines 'stress weed' as:

pretty much the crapiest weed around. it's usually brown, dry, and full of seeds. it doesn't have that nice, danky weed smell either. doesn't get you very high unless you smoke a shit load of it and even then, you can only get so high off of it. stress is also known for giving you a headache and making you sleepy during the come-down. the only plus about stress is that you get a lot of it for cheap, but most people don't even want a lot of stress. lots of newbies to the world of weed will buy stress because they choose quantity over quality.

dude 1: dude, i've got some bud.
dude 2: ha-ha! fuck yeah!
dude 1: i've got like, 9 G's! we're gonna get fucked up!
dude 2: nine G's? damn! how much you pay?
dude 1: $15
dude 2: what? fifteen bucks...aw, man! you didn't get stress did you?
dude 1: i don't know... i guess...
dude 2: hand me the sack.

-opens sack-

dude 2: *sniff* yup, this is stress alright...man...
dude 1: oh. so, should we smoke it?
dude 2: might as well..

bon voyage scotty

FROM 22.11.06

mood: just happy.
state i'm in: realising my dependence on the net for pretty much everything.
tune: a new funky generation "the messenger".



scott left for melbourne indefinetely today. i guess it won't really sink in for a while that he's gone. we can chat on the phone still, and on msn (when optus gets its shit together). but no more bottles of wine over dinner, no more pizza cafe, no more movies, no more hanging out at the pool, and a host of other things we do every so often.

farewell to the conversation - the arguments, the drunken rants, the passionate debates, and the wholehearted agreements. farewell to the speaking of soooooo much shit also - gonna miss that. farewell to someone who i know i can rely on when i need, and a friend in need at other times; someone that i know inside out, so well, and so comfortably, where to say nothing in one another's company is to speak a thousand words with someone else.

we have shared love and laughter, tears and trauma, sin and shame, fun and fantasy, innocence and imbecility. in all, we share an immense friendship that through hard work has endured a great deal, and will continue to do so. 1700 kms will hardly be the biggest hurdle to face our bond.

i guess i could say 'good luck', or 'take care', or 'you know where i am if you need me', and all would be true. but on the subject of our bond, and also scott's life ahead, i would prefer to let winston churchill's words speak on my behalf. granted he was speaking of britain's condition in the second world war, but then scott himself says 'it's war' when concerned with his struggle with mediocrity in life.

'this is not the end. it is not even the beginning of the end. but it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning'.

bon voyage boy. xoxo

monkey med

FROM 21.11.06

mood: quite contrary.
state i'm in: i love days off :-)
tune: sandy rivera feat. haze "changes" ben watt's lazy dog remix.


sandra's intern boyfriend david described cardiology as "monkey medicine" when we were discussing it saturday night. i couldn't agree more.

it's not that i dislike cardiology. it's great actually. you get to make an instantaneous (if only temporary) difference to a patient. they think that the doctors and nurses are the bees knees, ending the crushing pain their chest, and the feeling of impending doom. but there is no real thinking, no deep reasoning. perhaps in a bygone era?

patient comes in with chest pain, in a painfully typical pattern. ST elevation on ECG? T wave inversion on ECG? troponin elevated? pain responds like magic to GTN under the tongue? yes, yes, yes, yes! hey presto, you have an MI (aka heart attack). the patient gets an angiogram, then likely a stent, and with their 3 point plan (to which they are remarkably unlikely to adhere) to better carvdiovascular health in the future in hand, walks gingerly out the front door.

it's all so simple. sure there is the odd interesting case, where the patient's recovery is compromised by some complication such as diabetes or renal impairment, but the work is largely just plumbing.

not sure if i want to be a plumber, even if it is a rich one.


--------------------


hired a car (a mitshubishi 380, not bad, the leather was sweet) and took a pleasant drive with suffien up to the sunshine coast. first through the hinterland (where suff's "wow!!!" became louder and louder the higher into the mountains we got), then back down the blackall range through nambour and to coolum beach. deepfried seafood and chips for lunch and spent the afternoon relaxing on the beach as the sun set over the hills behind us. it was a really nice sunday.

dropped into mum and dad's on the way home for ice cream with the muscat we bought at one of the wineries along the way and to play around with the 380. mum and dad had a drive each, then i hopped into dad's recently tuned up pug 306 - even though it's not the sporty model (a la the red XSi - RIP) it was still like getting out of a 747 and into a fighter jet. the pug's responsive and alive - what you ask, she does, and with precision. a brilliantly put together machine.

here's some sunday pics…

on the way up the blackall range.

coolum beach - genu valgus in the background (med joke, sorry).

me.

bloody asian drivers.

at home in the iLC

mood: hollow, but filling with relief.
state i'm in: the gutache has passed, now i know i am not getting any results today.
tune: the hum of 40 eMacs.

ok so things are still up to shit with the home internet. in the UQ iLC now hoping to get exam results, but alas, SoM haven't released any yet... i mean, it has only been 5 weeks since exams concluded. give them some time i suppose.

just me and the hum of near on 40 apple computers and a beasty air conditioner.

i have brought a bunch of blog entries on my usb stick from home that i had intended on posting by now. so without further ado...

a.w.o.l.

mood: hot and restless
state i'm in: sticky, but about to jump in the pool... aaaaaahh.
tune: care of poddles jr, donny hathaway "the ghetto".

ok so my home internet has been down for over a week. i am told optus are at work fixing it, should be done within a couple more days... a couple more days!! scoundrels!

back in a few days then, til then, i'm a.w.o.l.

US mid-terms

mood: deflated.
state i'm in: finished "embracing the trash" for the night.
tune: gabrielle "sunshine".

can i say that i am pretty darn happy with the results of the midterm elections in the US this week. despite the fact that the democrats are pissweak, it's just great to see the republicans cop a "thumpin'" across both houses. i suspected the house of representatives would go to the dems, but didn't expect the senate too also.

clearly george w bush has failed in iraq - further to this is the resignation of donald rumsfield, bush's man in the pentagon. i have to wonder now that US policy toward iraq is in tatters, where my little country stands. we have no policy, other than to follow mr bush as a dedicated 'coalition of the willing' member. if the US changes it's policy, will john howard backflip moments later also, as if on commmand? just a reminder of how truly useless our government is.

my favourite little tidbit from the midterms however has to be the outcome in some backwater county in south dakota. democrat marie steichen won the race for county commissioner of jerauld county, SD. only problem is that ms steichen has in fact been dead for two months. for some reason her name remained on the ballot paper, and constituents sure as hell weren't going to vote for some lame duck republican one more time. so, out with the old, in with the dead. congratulations ms steichen.

wow

mood: worn out.
state i'm in: one of the most amazing days ends.
tune: lionel richie "easy (like sunday morning)".

got into scrubs... washed hands... masks, hairnets, gloves... in go me and nic... patient gets prepped... cut, cut, cut... through layers of fat, faschia, mucles... pop goes the uterus, amniotic fluid like a little fountain...

out comes a brand spanking new baby. it takes its first breaths, lets out a small cry, cord is cut, neonatal examination, bub goes pink, rugged up like a caterpillar and safely in arms of mum and dad.

one very amazing morning, seeing two beautiful bundles of innocence arrive into the troubled world. one day they will walk; maybe one day they will rule. a blank slate.

for a good 15 minutes after each birth i remain completely speechless. mum touches Baby G's face gently... no words for this, i just feel a small tear well in the corner of my eye. i guess you had to be there.

the power of new life. new life.

good, clean fun!

mood: same as before.
state i'm in: also same as before.
tune: heather small "proud"



a passing thought before i mention my elective.

saddam hussein's trial has come to a head today, the 6th of november. the american mid-term elections are tomorrow, the 7th of november. presently, the republicans stand a very good chance of losing the house of representatives, maybe even both houses of congress. i just wonder if mr hussein's sentence will give the impression of "progress made" in the pushing of shit uphill that is the american campaign in iraq.

a pure coincidence of dates i am sure.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

my favourite quote of the elective thus far:

Dr O: "yeah, young mr R fell and hit his head hard on the machine as he was being put into the MRI."

Dr H: "well, no better place to do it really."

-----------

whilst on the subject, here's some random funny MRI pics. for those unaware, this thing is a giant magnet that can suck a pacemaker our of your chest, or a metal hip from your pelvis. unfortunately, tragic accidents have happened.


























----------

neurology is pretty cruisy. everything is 10 or 15 minutes late, free lunch on offer if you need it, take a couple of hours off to go shopping, see some patients, head home early, have a chuckle at the PWT (not exactly a medical abbreviation), wish Mrs P a safe journey home to england.

rarely are the patients "sick" so to speak. true they have their share of problems: demyelinating disorders, such as multiple sclerosis; neurotransmitter receptor deficiency disorders such as myasthenia gravis; electrical disturbances such as epilepsy. but these patients are suffering with chronic debilitating disorders, not sicknesses, and tend to do so with remarkable resilience that i have immense admiration for. there is no shit, piss, spew, snot, blood, or anything else dirty for that matter. all in all, good clean fun.

----------

second favourite quote thus far:

as "the stroke team" (that includes me, hehe) scurries around the wards we pass a bed with the curtains drawn.

Dr H: "ooh, there doing a lumbar puncture..."

we all peer in, and a second later:

Dr H: "struck gold!"

a few drops of cerebrospinal fluid drip into a waiting test tube. the patient glances toward us with half grin, half grimace. not sure if she shared Dr H's candid approach to the sharp iatrogenic pain in her lower spine.

----------

best part of the elective thus far:

Mrs P is an 81 year old woman from england. she was in australia when she had a stroke affecting her left side and also her ability to express herself adequately in words, a condition called dysphasia. my first thought when i read about her was what on earth is an eighty-odd year old woman with risk factors doing travelling to the other side of the world.

when i finally met Mrs P, other than the difficulties mentioned above, she was a spitely and clever woman, feisty yet eloquent. i had just been having a long chat to one patient, and was about to leave that room to find another patient to talk to when Mrs P caught my attention. she was in the bed by the door and was smiling at me with a face i could not refuse. so we had a chat, and i got to know why she was here, and about her delayed flight home. i was very impressed in her character, as she spoke with pride about the achievements of her daughter in telehealth, where health advice is given via telecommunications to those in remote parts of the state.

had another good chat today, and she spoke (with increased ability compared to last week) about some of her life thus far. she studied natural sciences at cambridge from 1943-46, before working in a research institute in the united kindgom. then her and her literati husband took off to the united states. she changed direction, moving into ecology and conservation biology of the salt marshes of the eastern seaboard. global warming poses an immense threat she believes.

Mrs P told me that she appreciated me encouraging her to speak about her past.

the medical history is the important history to the medico, but it is a different history that matters to the patient. in the medical setting, i believe both need to be respected. all the best Mrs P.

right out of my mouth

mood: yep, still relaxed.
state i'm in: full of chicken & salty fish frid rice :-)
tune: jamie cullum "get your way".


i am not an avid 'family first' supporter. not a supporter at all actually. occasionally the party tosses policy ideas at the media that sound reasonable, and as though they have the interests of many australians (especially those that are members of a nuclear family, of course) at heart. but these are generally just fodder for the masses at best (e.g., a strong stance on petrol prices). other policies are complete hot air; party leader steven fielding's policy on asylum seekers for example - tell me precisely what does "a strong system, but a fair system" mean when mr fielding puts forward the party's policy on the matter. doesn't actually tell me anything really. and the remainder are just verification of the parties firm roots in the christian right. forgive me if i am wrong, but i was under the belief that church and state were separate.

last week a hacker managed to infiltrate the party's website and post the following page on mr fielding's blog. more embarrassing still was the fact that it was at the advice of 'the age' newspaper that family first became aware of the event.

click for larger image

took the words right out of my mouth 'mr campbell'.

alternate routes

mood: a little inebriated.
state i'm in: staring into a puddle.
tune: turin brakes "the road".

this time about a year ago, i was counting down to the day i would hop on a jet plane and take off for distant continents, on a life-affirming journey (although i didn't want to think of it as such at the time).

how different life was. simple, yet infinitely more reckless.

it strikes me how differently we live our lives depending on the social circumstances we find ourselves in.

imagine your life, and how it might be, if some things had have been different. if you didn't get into that course, or took a different job, or dumped that person a year or two earlier than you did? would it actually be different, or merely superficially.

if the boyfriend or course or job was different, would your life have been significantly different or superficially so? the same life can be led largely the same regardless of the specific partner/course of study/job. you will lead the life you want to lead, given what lies ahead can be knowingly predicted to a fair degree, even if not in the enth detail.

subcounsciously, we make it for ourselves every day, and the so-called "centres of our world" are only incidental, chosen by us to suit the direction in which we have chosen to take. do we then go on to make them the true centre, or do we remain the centre, and adjust these variables to suit the flow? are we selfish if we remain the centre around which we place the "variables" of our life? are we magnanimous if we place a thing other than ourselves before all else? is one more human than the other, unique to a particular generation, or a type of personality or character, or would anyone do the same under the same circumstances?

this time there really are WMDs

mood: comfortably and happily relaxed.
state i'm in: excited about starting elective tomorrow.
tune: kinny & horne "sacred life".

what to do with mr kim jong il and his rogue state.

i believe that the time is nigh for suggestions of a military campaign on the korean peninsula. north korea needs to be deterred from its present course, or ought to be punished with invasion, a massive political dilemna no doubt, and subsequent reunification with the south, a massive logistical dilemna no doubt.

as currently stands, the state has weapons of mass destruction. mr kim first announced his intentions to the world, then followed through with an explosion. the man detonated a nuclear bomb, a weapon of mass destruction, suspicion of possessing the likes of which other nations have been invaded for (or so the story goes). mr kim has made the threat to lash out with a "merciless strike" against american allies japan and south korea, and speaks of new sanctions against his state as a "declaration of war". rhetoric no doubt, but when the man is nearing possession of the means, one has to wonder what course of action ought be taken next.

china has always appeared to be an obstacle to resolution on the peninsula, but i don't think they will stand forever in defence of north korea. it looks as if wounds between japan and china might just be beginning to mend, under the stewardship of newly party-elected japanese prime minister shinzo abe. it is of immense value economically to china that these wounds do continue to heal.

sanctions are unlikely to do anything to resolve the issue. the morality of punishing poor people who live in a boycotted autocracy is dubious to say the least. it will do nothing to help the people, and is only likely to strengthen the popularity and power of the regime.

so where does the international community go? do we continue to impose sanctions? the ones imposed thus far are feeble, and the suggestions of condoleeza rice to russia, china, japan, and south korea on recent visits, even if acted upon, aren't a great deal stronger. or should we just wait until seoul or sapporro goes up in radioactive smoke before acting? probably not awfully likely in the near future, but it is a scenario that might be somewhat more likely in coming years, and needs to be averted with action now.

if this is not a suitable course of action to take, i would appreciate hearing suggestions otherwise. i am not a warmonger, in fact i am almost a pacifist, but options for the people of north korea, and potentially their international neighbours, are getting thin on the ground.

summing up

mood: very relaxed.
sate i'm in: can't believe i can do so little.
tune: karen ramirez "people make the world go round" (not bad, but it's not the sylistics).


so what can i say about the last few days. how about a quick summary...

MSAT on saturday was pretty good i think. not much examination, mostly communication, a.k.a. warm fluffy psychy stuff, a.k.a. nicola's heartland. can't really complain.

tuesday's exam on the other hand, i will complain about. public health everywhere... what the fuck?!!! talk about rubbish. ok, i know public health is important, suffien could remind me if needed, but to have the biggest question be on some kind of bullshit safety in the workplace (not even a hospital/health-related workplace) was just a load of bollocks really.

wednesday's exam was a lot better. respiratory was great, renal was even better! and male reproductive anatomy, as if i needed to be tested on that! and abortion... i never thought i would say the words "thank god for abortion" - how wrong that must have sounded to a passer by. nice to end it with a decent exam, where i could confidently answer the majority or questions. spent too long on the essay component, but still worked out ok for time. just in time to beat the rush to the pub.

ok, exam done at midday. by 5pm i had a GCS score of 6 i think. that's a coma scale to the non-mediwankers... sort of means i could have been mistaken for someone with some pretty serous brain damage, or worse. but it was a fun afternoon. didn't make it to the function that night, didn't really intend on doing so.

last night was another social night... nicole's 21st, photos below (with a file photo of nicole, featuring david, from his 21st). nicole said some touching words in her speech that i could identify strongly with. she was speaking of the friends we have all found in each other in med. such an intelligent, witty, and personable bunch of brilliant people. it is the cohort that really makes the course enjoyable.

david, myself, jack, tian, and adalbert... don't mess with adalbert.

me and suffien.

nicole and david from david's 21st.

other then getting a new job for the holiday break (and maybe longer) at sunglass hut, today was just a dodgy subway sandwich for lunch.

elective starting monday - 2 weeks neurology, 2 weeks cardiology.

more substantial stories in the pipeline. peace out.

can i get a raincheck on my habeas corpus?

mood: rushing on adrenalin.
state i'm in: thank fuck MSAT is over. frayed at the edges right now.
tune: naked music nyc "it's love" joshua's mo' love vocal mix.


definitions:

habeus corpus - the name of a legal instrument or writ by means of which detainees can seek release from unlawful imprisonment.

raincheck - seller's commitment to sell an out-of-stock item at the advertised price as soon as it becomes available.



thank you scott. please watch this video. an extremely well put together synopsis of one of modern history's darkest hours. it might be in regard to an american government, but please, how far removed are we in this era from being merely a footnote to US foreign policy.

commentator keith olbermann is a science graduate, basaball fanatic sports commentator, with a lot of backbone (literally, the man has 6 lumbar vertebrae lol), and is a formidable news anchor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqxmPjB0WSs&eurl=

please do not elect a government that will nonsensically sheep along with whatever master says, regardless of the compromises made on its subjects' liberty, autonomy, freedom. howard out, please. it's the least we can do for ourselves.

could have been

mood: even more f'ed.
state i'm in: well done.
tune: deborah conway "it's only the beginning".


for the first time in as long as i can remember, maybe first time ever, i am not feeling so grateful about the personal experiences of my life for the 8 years before this one. always thought the old adage "you learn from your experiences, from your mistakes" applied well to my early adult years.

now thoughts pointing to the value of "learning" from early mistakes are beginning to elude me. could i not have just gotten it right first time around - mistakes everted. if only i really knew what i wanted, and what it meant - when ideas of what i wanted were less precise than what they could (should?) have been. it could have been as simple as it seems now, i honestly believe that. it seems so simple now. so pure and right and easy.

it's not a polarisation of thoughts, just a case of embracing something simple, yet as fulfilling as anything complex.

rambling, am i? maybe.

could be the meagre three hours sleep i managed to clock up last night, mixed with an unhealthy dose of oncology and musculoskeletal examinations. who the fuck texts you at 6am! kiddo deluxe does, that's who - thanks so much, em. and with walls as thin as water crackers (while my big wooden bed creaks like an old barn door in a storm, but that's not for here) finding sleep after about 7am is a lost cause. fuck i'm fried.

hmmm, i'm becoming one of those bloggers lately, aren't i - but really, other than the indefinite closure of brisbane's major expressway, what else exciting is happening right now? is my world too small right now?

mmmm, penfold's bluestone tawny... my special study buddy.

brain = friable

mood: f'ed.
state i'm in: oh, how the peanut slab glistens under the desklamp.
tune: gabrielle "sunshine".

well, i'm officially fried. just feel cruddy today. went up to the library to get a book, bumped into a big embrace from my good friend angel and another old friend kate, both from the old science days. my face just felt weird to be talking - my muscles of facial expression have become superfluous in these last few days. my brain felt even worse. i had to think about more than one thing, in more than one direction. the conversation was ruling the tangent of my thoughts, and i wasn't coping well. what a bloody effort!

got the book, came home, back to the sanctuary of my room and ibook, where no one but me can alter the direction of my thoughts. and i will keep directing them in the direction of my studies, coursing through the body system by system. if i need company, i've always got the forresters and co. at 4:30 each afternoon.


physically not too good either. feeling sluggish. muscles are wasted. stomach is looking swollen, can't possibly be fat. my normal intake of food is not compatible with the level of (in)activity i am slothing in. no fatty stuff today. or tomorrow. or the next day. held a little whittaker's peanut slab in my hand a few times today, but have now put it on my desk, with a red delicious apple sitting, as if a guardian, between me and it. must... be... strong... if i am going to eat, it will be because i am hungry. if i am hungry, i will eat the apple. hmmm, sound a bit like my mother...



ok, i know, this is one of those wanky, all-about-me, like-you'd-give-a-fuck, blog entries. going now.

distributive justice anybody?

mood: tiring a bit now.
state i'm in: getting close to reproduction.
tune: brand new heavies "get used to it" album. amazing stuff guys!

wow, been a while i know. sorry, exam study in full swing. high as a kite on green tea, funky soul on the speakers, and an oceanic breadth of knowledge to be swallowed.


just a quick one, to get brains ticking...

why should the "socially infertile" be excluded from access to assisted reproductive technology? by socially infertile, i am referring to single mothers, and lesbian couples. it seems sensible that mr and mrs jones be given first preference over miss jones or ms and ms jones right? but why? is there a genuine reason? or is it time we jettisoned some more patriarchal baggage?

you're wrong, wrong, so damn wrong!!!

mood: very very content.
state i'm in: resilient.
tune: incognito "this thing called love".


i picked up the courier mail on sunday. no, i didn't buy it, i say "picked up" literally, it was on the floor. that's probably the best place for it, other than out of print. front page story was "FAILED! The schoolgirl who refused to write about living with gays". naturally it was typical redneck fodder, the likes of which the courier mail seems to excel at churning out.

a year nine student was failed for refusing to complete an assignment designed, in the words of an education queensland spokesperson, "to encourage students to think about diversity, culture, and belief systems". to my knowldege, there are many topics schools can choose from, using scenarios based on living as one of various minorities, based on ethnicity, sexuality, religion, etc. the school at large chose one pertaining to living as a heterosexual in a homosexual society.

heres what some of the people cited in the front page article had to say:


year 9 student at the centre of the story:

"i didn't want to do the assignment because i don't believe in homosexuality."


the student's mother:

"she was being challenged, but she should not be challenged like that at her age."


federal education minister julie bishop, who is intent on wresting control of curriculum content from the states:

"this is another example of a politically-correct agenda masquerading as curriculum. ...parents need to be confident their children are receiving a high quality education that is also consistent with their values."


state opposition leader jeff seeney:

"(the) system tries to tell kids what to think instead of teaching them how to think. it is not the job of our schools to politicise our children. it is their function to provide our kids with the basics, like reading, writing, and maths."


christian lobby state director peter earle:

"the assignment was not about education, rather a teacher or school pushing their agenda on young minds. the subject matter was totally inapropriate."


my familiarity with the EQ program, whilst certainly not complete, is that this is an assignment with an interest in promoting tolerance, acceptance, the virtues of diversty, and egalitarianism - a.k.a. promoting basic human rights. not, as those quoted above would have you believe, the pushing of "a politically correct agenda".

little miss year 9 doesn't believe in homosexuality. what exactly does that mean? either a parentally indoctrinated bigot in the making, or a young lass in denial of homosexuality's very existence. her mother cries "she shouldn't be challenged like that at her age". news flash sweetheart - there are likely homosexual children in your daughter's class; perhaps she is even one, denial is a hallmark after all! the pollies and lobbyists claim this is the pushing of an "agenda" onto young minds. their claim is that this is unfit to be spoken about. get fucked!

perhaps had they have completed the assignment themselves, and taken the time to appreciate what it is like to be (not even considering growing up as an adolescent who is) gay, or ethnic, or disabled, they might realise the merit such a project has. take the blinkers off people!


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from here, i suppose i will get a little emotional. all of this just reinforces a feeling that constanly burns low at the back of my mind. i am not unstable, nor am i depressed, nor do i feel even slightly lousy about who i am. but i get annoyed.

there is always many people there to tell me i am "wrong". how i live is "wrong". my beliefs are "wrong". by views on morals are warped, "wrong". my ability to raise a child is inept, "wrong". my capacity to fulfill many responsible positions in society is inadequate, "wrong". the thoughts in my head are "wrong". the places i sometimes go to socialise are "wrong". i will be judged harshly in the afterlife because the way i behave is "wrong". how and who i love is deranged, "wrong".

but i am not "wrong".

it is others who disprespect one's autonomy. it is others who display maleficence, and fail to show beneficence towards others. it is others who deprive who they can of justice. (thanks to my medical education for the big words.) i wish they wouldn't, for it hurts those people. that is not in anyone's best interest.

i strive to do the right thing by my family, by my friends, by my society (howsoever undeserving it may seem sometimes!). i work hard at my studies, i care about those close to me, and would go to lengths to ensure their happiness and safety. i uphold strong principles about how one ought to treat others, and their environment - tread lightly people. i maintain the dream that if each of us was to put into our society more than what we take, as much more as we can muster, our society would be immensely enriched. how powerful would we be together.

but still they claim i am "wrong". they are not the only voices out there, perhaps not even the majority, but they are nonetheless loud. "wrong" they say, over and over. a weaker person might fail under their relentless pressure. but i won't.

for i am "right"!!

rosy cheeks

mood: happy.
state i'm in: little vegemite.
tune: gabrielle "don't need the sun (to make me smile)".


stopped by chai's convenience store on the way home - needed a loaf of bread. after much internal discourse, i opted for a loaf of fluffy white bread. it's been many months of wholegrain and i just felt it was time. one beautiful and soft vegemite sandwich coming up for lunch. one of those little pleasures.

walked under the melaleucas in bloom on the way up my street, smelling so sweet like honey, breeze blowing brown leaves down from the canopy above, and with the prospect of someone making a nice home cooked meal for me tonight, today is looking pretty damn fine.

candle up to the sun

mood: contently flat.
state i'm in: the emotional rollercoaster is really kicking into higher gears.
tune: josh pyke "feeding the wolves" ep.


le chatelier's principle states:

"if a change is imposed on a system at equilibrium, the position of the equilibrium will shift in a direction that tends to reduce that change."


now whilst henri le chatelier was describing effects on enzyme kinetics when he coined this principle (one of the guiding principles of chemistry), just broaden your mind to imagine how much of life it in actuality applies to...


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this is going to be one of those posts, where i skip around a bit from one topic to the next...


singer-songwriter josh pyke is brilliant. i would have liked to have shared this a long time ago, but my overall mood veered away into more stable and happier times before i could, and it just felt inappropriate to be dedicating posts to largely sombre and/or reflective music when the songs i were playing were farthest from.

the following lyrics from his track "staring down the sun" off the "feeding the wolves" ep just ring in my ear so loudly when he sings them. that feeling, unspecific as it is, is always so warm in my memory - when he sings this verse it comes back to the surface like bubbles in a slow-boiling pool of mud.


"not too sentimental, but i want you to know,
that i drove past your street tonight on my way back from a show.
i was less than one hundred footsteps away from you i suppose,
and i could feel your sweet eyes, watching headlights roll by,
maybe you noticed one, swept by a little too slow,
and on down that road.
on down that road."


perhaps for me the most poignant, but really just one of many such moments from his ep. how many times i have done it i cannot recall. in my mind, i have done it many more times. one can never quite let go of an experience when is is the experience itself that grips you tight.


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and to change topic again, the announcement of a tragic event in the world of bold and the beautiful. darla einstein-forrester died this afternoon on the show due to complications from massive head injuries sustained when she was hit by a car. this sucks i think, 'cos darla was one of my favourite supporting characters, and it also signals the further fading of memories of the once stong spectre empire. only clark garrison jr. and sally spectre herself are now left from the clan.

but, should have seen it coming, she was happy, and we can't have that on b 'n' b.

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stay tuned for a bit of howard-bashing in the next couple of days. the little turd has pissed me off... again.