thinking about tomorrow

mood: content.
state i'm in: still in rebuke over my own emotions.
tune: beth orton "thinking about tomorrow".

'tired but i ain't sleeping..,' just been playing a few mellow tunes on my trusty little iPod nano and come across one of the most splendid in all of my collection. it effects me so deeply and takes me back to some places i would love to return, and some i would not. so i get out of bed, put on my specs, and fire up the iBook i just shut down an hour ago. (anyone for an Apple product placement?)

in an instant, i'm in budapest, on margit hid (bridge), at the southern tip of margit-sziget (island), staring down the danube in the fading twilight, at one of the most beautiful cities i have ever been to. i'm quietly singing the lyrics to myself, and thinking of the greatest love of my life up to that point, lost.




in another instant i am in richmond, london. ms orton is loud on my headphones, as i wander around the city's streets, collecting wine, food, and gifts for the festive season. in and out of tesco's and marks & spencer, finding what i seek. again, as i go, my mind steals away, and i get sentimental about love, lost and found.




another memory springs to mind. in my bedroom, in the wee hours, studying my first few weeks of med, lost in the quagmire of this new course. beth orton on high rotation on iTunes (there it goes) and lost love on high rotation in my mind. my mind casts itself to a couple of brief honeymoons, with a love left unrequited by geography alone.

this song is one of the most potent catalysts for bringing to the fore of my mind the feelings of love lost, unrequited, and abused. i love it so sweet, but it, and the thoughts it rekindles, hurts.

---

beth orton "thinking about tomorrow"

tired but i ain't sleeping
thinking about some sad affair
and why i should be leaving
cos some of these thoughts only seem to take me outta here
these habits are so hard to break and they're so easy to make
these habits are so hard to break and they're so easy to make

thinking about tomorrow
tired form all the time i spare
on what i still believe in
when none of my talk ever seems to get me anywhere
these habits are so hard to break and they're so easy to make
these habits are so hard to break and they're so easy to make

so long bye my friend so long
so long will it ever happen again
you know that i've been waiting for you
i’ve been creating for you so long
you know the light ain't fading from you
nothing could save me from you, so long

tired but i ain't dreaming
falling into solid air
and why i must be leaving or one of these days
i'm gonna pull out all my hair
these habits are so hard to break and they're so easy to make
these habits are so hard to break and they're so easy to make

so long, bye my friend so long
so long will it ever happen again
you know that I've been waiting for you
i've been creating for you so long
you know the light ain't fading from you
nothing could save me form you so long

---

images: mine